Who I am. I am who?

"We are what we repeatedly do."
So said Aristotle.

My challenge for the past several years has been to define myself. At times, this has been a terrifying prospect. At times, a deeply depressing one. At times, a liberating and exhilarating prospect.

Since societies have segregated themselves into specialized tasks, we have defined ourselves by those tasks. We have even named our family lines by those tasks or jobs. Miller, Taylor, Baker. So by that definition, here is my brief history: I was a journalist for 15 years. I quit the newspaper business to take over my father's manufacturing business and I was a captain of industry for seven years until I had to close because of Chinese competition. That was in 2005.

I kept the building and became a commercial landlord. Since 2005, I have been able to attract five tenants who take up about 60% of the building. This allows me a modest income and requires only about 25% of my time.

So, I was left asking: Who am I now? What will I do? What is it that I want? Most of us fall into our occupations. We don't just sit down and have to put our fingers down on the occupational map.

For many years, off and on, I had harbored the thought that perhaps I would write fiction. Was this the time to finally make a commitment to that? Was I a writer?

Throughout my life, I had enjoyed sailing. Should I cast off and be a live-aboard cruiser? Was a sailor?

Always having enjoyed the entrepreneurial aspects of small business, I thought about starting a new business.

The sailing won out. For the last few years I have been preparing and planning on casting off and sailing the Atlantic circuit. The Northeast, the Caribbean and Europe.

I figured this would allow me to define myself over time. Am I writer who sails? Or am I sailor who writes?

But life is never straight forward. I have been unable to cast off for the last couple of years for a number of reasons. Filling the building with tenants requires me to be in this area more than I had anticipated. And my boat (a Hans Christian 33) needed repairs that have taken longer than I thought. And then... well, I am single, and to me the prospect of cruising alone is terribly lonesome. So perhaps I have intentionally slowed the process in hopes of finding the right partner for this venture.

But all of this leaves me with a lot of time to doubt myself, and my goals and to question myself. It is surprising to me, how often I have to force myself to "want" this adventure. To stay focused on it.

Making public affirmations of what I want helps.